Live Action: The Worst

It saddens me to acknowledge that Crimson Lightning’s reviews of The Flash television series are at an end. I’ve had a lot of fun revisiting this unique program nearly twenty years on. If this blog’s run of reviews hasn’t yet convinced you to pick up The Flash on DVD, let me offer one final push. To this day, the scarlet speedster’s series remains one of the most remarkable and entertaining superhero shows ever produced for television. Even during this golden age of superhero cinema, it’s a series worth remembering and worth revisiting. Before we finish with our bi-weekly Live Action feature, however, I thought it would be fun to take some time to reflect upon the show’s triumphs as well as its failures.

Airing twenty-two episodes during its single-season run on CBS, The Flash displayed remarkable versatility in its storytelling, but with this came some dramatic variations in quality. In the end, the series was something of a mixed bag. Tuning in each week, there was an equal chance that you would be seeing some sort of banal or clichéd police drama rather than a wonderfully inventive take on the superhero genre. This week Live Action will comment on three of the show’s more frustrating installments. When I rank the episodes of the television series, these are the three that settle to the bottom. Next time around we’ll look at the top three episodes, the best and the brightest.

Here, then, are the Flash’s most miserable misadventures…

THE WORST

1. “Out of Control,” only the second installment in the series, is an utter embarrassment. While most television series struggle to find their footing in those first few episodes to follow the pilot, The Flash nearly fell flat on its face right out of the gate. A horrific monstrosity built of two-dimensional characters, stale drama, stock social commentary, and ropey special effects, the episode is redeemed only by the fact that all of the scarlet speedster’s subsequent televised adventures were brilliant by comparison.

2. “Sins of the Father” features a poorly structured and relatively uninspired script but, more tragically, it also serves to prove that even a television series following the exploits of a superpowered costumed avenger can be just plain boring. Guest star M. Emmet Walsh is a constant annoyance as Barry Allen’s irritatingly irascible father, and the mission he undertakes with his son plays out on-screen as a sort of second-rate police or detective tale. The episode also features one of the series’ most forgettable villains, Johnny Ray Hix, a clichéd escaped con utterly unworthy of facing-off against our superhero protagonist.

3. “Be My Baby” tries desperately to deliver both drama and laughs but lamentably falls short. The Flash was capable of occasionally hilarious comedy, it’s true, but you wouldn’t know it from watching this particular installment. This is the episode that casts Barry Allen as babysitter to an imperiled infant, and the situational comedy that ensues is neither enjoyable nor funny--not even unintentionally funny. Even the exceptional Bryan Cranston, guest starring as one of the series’ more offbeat antagonists, can’t save the story.

Dishonorable Mention: “Tina, Is That You?” is perhaps the most absurd adventure of the entire series. Whether the story is intentionally mocking one of the show’s own recurrent absurdities--namely the utterly unconvincing romantic tension forced upon Barry and Tina--or simply pursuing over-the-top plot twists in a misguided attempt at comic book-inspired dramatic effect, the end result is an episode that ridicules both of the show’s protagonists and leaves the audience questioning how seriously we’re meant to take The Flash.

There’s sure to be a Quick Quiz poll relating to The Flash television series at some point in the future. In the meantime, feel free to share your thoughts regarding the show’s worst episodes using the comment facility below. Do you still carry any unfortunate, unshakable memories of the crimson comet’s televised exploits? What’s your least favorite installment of The Flash?

Fast Talk: Liquid Oxygen

Liquid Oxygen: It is often remarked by those who underestimate the fastest man alive that he is a superhero that simply "runs fast." Using a similarly limited logic, we could surmise that the wicked Captain Cold is a substandard supervillain because he simply "freezes things." The brilliance behind these characters lies in the inspired range of scientific principles their basic superpowers were associated with via the storytelling--which is, of course, to say nothing of characterization. Take this example. After interrupting a robbery in progress, the Flash finds himself immersed in a rather exceptional deathtrap. Captain Cold has fired his freeze-gun and "instantly the very air turns liquid about the Flash as sub-zero temperatures liquefy the oxygen he needs to stay alive." Nevermind the fact that a cursory look at the process of manufacturing liquid oxygen indicates that fractional distillation would be required to separate out the substantial nitrogen component of the air that Barry Allen is breathing. As he's swimming in a room flooded with liquid oxygen, both highly volatile and significantly cryogenic, the monarch of motion is lucky that he's lived long enough to even reflect on the possibility of drowning! Of course, miraculous survival can always be explained away with a quip: "He won't get away with this! For every cold trick--I have a hot one!"

Issue: The Flash #150 (February 1965)

Find the Flash: MegaCon

Kelson Vibber didn't spot the Flash during his recent visit to WonderCon, but it seems as if there were plenty of speedsters on hand at MegaCon in Orlando, Florida! At Speed Force, Kelson has posted a nice collection of snapshots and photostreams featuring fans who attended the event dressed as their favorite character from the pages of The Flash, including this pairing of hero and nemesis. Zoom looks angry enough--or perhaps he's just plain annoyed to be there! Visit Speed Force for more fun with costuming.

Flash Facts: Meteoric Velocities

"Meteors with velocities up to twenty-six miles per second are members of our solar system; those with greater velocities are merely passing through our solar system from interstellar space."

Illustration: "Mean altitudes at which meteors appear and disappear. A) Upper limit of the atmospheric layer whose illumination causes twilight. B) Beginning of the stratosphere."

Issue: The Flash #208 (August 1971)

Classic Covers: Dead Again #1

Sight and Sound: "Divided We Fall"

"Divided We Fall," that standout installment of Cartoon Network's Justice League Unlimited discussed in our last installment of Sight and Sound, contains wonders far more mesmerizing than the knock-down, drag-out battle between the Justice League and the Justice Lords. You didn't think our discussion of the episode would end there, did you? In the animated adventure's jaw-dropping climax, the Flash unleashes the full brunt of his astonishing superpowers on the merged Brainiac-Luthor in a desperate attempt to save his teammates and the world. This is the Flash fighting without limits. The dizzying sequence introduces viewers to the speed force in reimagining concepts first explored in The Flash's epic "Terminal Velocity" story arc. In the aftermath of a battle in which the scarlet speedster has seeming perished, Superman struggles to restrain himself from finally murdering his arch-nemesis. Truly, the scene stands as one of the most memorable and powerful moments of the series and it serves as an exceptional showcase of the true extent of those unique abilities possessed by the fastest man alive. Watch... and be amazed!

Fast Talk: Flash Metabolism

Flash Metabolism: Here's a fun fact! Thanks to an accelerated metabolism, the Flash's unique body is capable of processing quantities of drugs such as phencyclidine that would prove lethal to the average human--though, unfortunately, not without being affected by their dangerous and intoxicating effects. After assaulting his fellow superheroes and embarking on an embarrassing super-speed rampage that nearly destroys their shared satellite headquarters, Barry Allen is subjected to what amounts to a Justice League of America drug screening. The results aren't promising. With all of the accuracy and attention to detail of a trained neurobiologist, the ever-impressive Superman explains that his x-ray vision has discovered microscopic "traces of P.C.P. and other 'junk' drugs clogging the tissues!" Using his equally impressive power ring, Green Lantern observes that his friend has absorbed a dose of angel dust "big enough to kill an elephant!!! Only his unique Flash metabolism pulled him thru!" Admittedly, this week's subject for Fast Talk was chosen primarily for its entertaining panel illustration, but it draws our attention to a scientific loophole used frequently in adventures featuring the fastest man alive. Is there anything--high-calorie consumable, potent potable, neurotoxic chemical--that the scarlet speedster's metabolism can't handle? All this in an issue approved by the Comics Code Authority, too! I hasten to add that, as the man of steel points out, "Obviously, he didn't do this to himself!" Don't do drugs. Stay in school.

Issue: The Flash #277 (September 1979)

Quick Quiz: Favorite Love Interest?

February's Valentine-themed Quick Quiz poll asked visitors to consider those love interests who have been associated with the fastest man alive over the years, women such as Joan Garrick, Iris Allen, Fiona Webb, Tina McGee, Linda Park, and Valerie Perez. Of these brilliant and beautiful leading ladies, which stands as your favorite character?

Intrepid reporter and occasional time-traveler Iris West Allen--aunt to Wally, grandmother to Bart, and the love of Barry Allen's life--earned a significant 31% of the vote. 9% of the blog's readers cast their ballot for brainy beauty Dr. Tina McGee, who, portrayed by actress Amanda Pays, served as a recurring romantic interest on The Flash television series. No less than 51% of all respondents selected the one and only Linda Park-West, wife to Wally West. Valerie Perez, S.T.A.R. Labs intern and onetime love interest to the impulsive Bart Allen, picked up a further 2%. Golden Age heroine Joan Garrick and romantic stand-in Fiona Webb received no love from the readers. 7% of respondents chose to vote in the Other category, with at least one of those votes being declared for Carol Bucklen, Bart's first girlfriend. Forty-five readers participated in the poll.


Romance has been an integral part of the mythology surrounding the fastest man alive from the very start. It seems that each man to put on the costume of the crimson comet is destined to find his soul mate. Each of those heroes has, as a result, been driven onwards by a limitless passion. Linda Park's position at the lead of this particular poll seemed assured considering the strong role developed for her throughout The Flash (v.2). She earned my vote, as well as votes from many others. With The Flash: Rebirth on the horizon, however, you can bet that the remarkable Iris Allen will soon be back in the spotlight. Which of these women is your favorite character? Let us know using the comment facility below.

Before The Flash: Rebirth thunders into comic shops everywhere and comes to utterly dominate our discourse, the next Quick Quiz asks you to cast your mind back to those pivotal issues that came to define Wally West during his time as the fastest man alive, back to those stunning storylines that kept us reading the scarlet speedster's book. Who could forget the astonishing plot twist at the center of "The Return of Barry Allen," or our maturing hero's discovery of the speed force in "Terminal Velocity"? What comic tale could rival the Flash's deadly showdown with Zoom in the tragic "Blitz," or the winner-take-all battle between supervillains from the thrill-packed "Rogue War"? Of these significant storylines from The Flash (v.2), Wally West's most epic adventures, which is your favorite? Select a title from our sidebar poll!

Flash Facts: Neptune's Orbit

"It takes the planet Neptune 164 years and 280 days to complete a single orbit around the sun. Though it was discovered in 1846, the planet will not return to its same discovery place in the sky until the year 2011."

Issue: The Flash #193 (December 1969)

Classic Covers: The Flash #142

Live Action: "The Trial of the Trickster"

“The Trial of the Trickster” (May 18, 1991)

Writers: Howard Chaykin & John Francis Moore
Director: Danny Bilson
Editor: Bill Zabala

Synopsis: A media circus surrounds the eagerly anticipated trial of James Jesse, the manic supervillain popularly known as the Trickster. These high-profile proceedings are brought to an early conclusion, however, when the Trickster escapes from a city courthouse with the help of toy company heiress Zoey Clark. Clark is a deranged, thrill-seeking fantasist who has become obsessed with the notion that she is Prank, the supervillain’s sidekick. Reluctantly joining forces with this impish partner in crime, the Trickster plots to kidnap the Flash, brainwash him, and then take his revenge by placing the judicial system of Central City itself on trial!

Commentary: Thanks to “The Trial of the Trickster,” the final installment in the series, The Flash goes out with a bang--or, more correctly, with the effect of a toy gun loaded with a brightly colored flag bearing the word “BANG!” The story that unfolds is a bit like A Clockwork Orange by way of Looney Tunes. Mark Hamill is absolutely superb in his encore performance as the Trickster. The actor perfectly embodies a character that is simultaneously macabre and mirthful, and he’s outright hilarious. It helps that the script for this episode sports some sharp and snappy dialogue. The Trickster is easily the most entertaining villain of the series, the one truly larger-than-life supervillain to threaten our hero throughout these televised adventures. As before, in “The Trickster,” there’s more than a bit of the Joker in Hamill’s electrifying performance--though it’s worth noting, once again, that this is where Hamill birthed the persona he would later employ playing the infamous Clown Prince of Crime. Additionally, I was repeatedly reminded of Frank Gorshin’s unforgettable performances as the Riddler. With Hamill reveling in the role of the Trickster, Corinne Bohrer’s Prank fulfilling a role that prefigures Harley Quinn, and Shirley Walker’s boisterous soundtrack playfully keeping pace with such demented antagonists, watching “The Trial of the Trickster” is like watching an episode of Batman: The Animated Series brought vividly to life. As always, John Wesley Shipp is undeniably charismatic as our stalwart hero, and it’s nice to see him granted the opportunity to act a bit unhinged this time out thanks to a vigorous brainwashing from the Trickster. There are flickers of some tantalizing themes to be found amidst the cartoonish chaos as well, particularly involving notions of identity. When the delusional Prank attempts to remove the Flash’s mask and expose his well-kept secret identity, the Trickster fascinatingly protests. The plot shows that James Jesse is well-practiced at altering his identity to fit his mood or situation and he’s come to accept the old adage that a man is only as strong as his enemies, that the scarlet speedster is a worthy foe only so long as he remains a figure of potent mystique. The distinctions between hero, villain, sidekick, and ally are repeatedly and playfully upset or inverted throughout. The sets, costuming, and art direction are excellent and there are even some bold moments of cinematography, particularly early on. “The Trial of the Trickster” is one of the zaniest installments of the series but it is also undeniably inventive and absolutely breathless. It isn't brilliant but it's a hell of a lot of fun. The final scene of the episode--in which a pair of workmen append the Central City welcome sign with a banner declaring it to be “Home of the Flash,” just as a familiar scarlet streak zips past on a patrol of the city--should conjure up a smile as it brings the series to a rather comforting close.

High-Speed Highlight: Brainwashed by the Trickster, the Flash crazily dashes down Central City’s Main Street at super-speed, smashing parking meters with a wrench as he goes and delighting in the destruction left in his wake--until he realizes that the wrench in his hands has begun to smoke from the friction!

Quotable: “Don’t! D-D-D-D… He is the mask! Without the mask, he’s nothing, bupkis, nada, zip, just some boring, average, insignificant jerk nobody cares about who’ll die alone and forgotten, watching game shows in an empty apartment--with cats. No. You touch that mask again, I’ll murder you. Okay?” --The Trickster objects to learning the scarlet speedster’s true identity

Fast Talk: Speedster Slipstream

Speedster Slipstream: The Flash has become so accustomed to throwing around scientific fast talk that it's beginning to corrupt his use of cliches! As he dodges deadly chunks of concrete falling from a collapsing city block, the fastest man alive rescues a helpless tyke just in time for a narrow escape. Just how narrow is this escape? "Whew! Made it! But if my hide were one molecule thicker--" One molecule?! I'd expect that sort of infinitesimal exaggeration from the likes of the Atom, but honestly, Barry. The fastest man alive follows this molecular hyperbole with one of his regular super-speed stunts. Though his hands are full protecting the rescued child, the fleet-footed hero is able to deliver a bevy of nearby citizens to safety simply using the fast-moving currents that whip about in his wake. "Guess they'll have to settle for traveling via air mail!" It's the selectivity that the Flash is capable of enforcing over the air currents in his super-speed backwash that has always puzzled me. Though they'll likely end up airsick, those citizens are lucky there aren't any bricks or steel beams being snatched up by the speedster's slipstream!

Issue: The Flash #217 (August-September 1972)

Amazing World of Puzzles (1974)

In this word puzzle are the names of fifty-five titles of DC books past and present. Try and find them all.

Flash Facts: Diamonds and Pressure

"It requires a temperature of at least 3000 degrees Fahrenheit and a pressure of one million pounds per square inch to create diamonds. This General Electric 1,000 ton hydraulic press, exerting a pressure of 1.6 million pounds per square inch on an area of one square inch, produced the first man-made diamonds."

Issue: The Flash #141 (December 1963)

Classic Covers: Impulse #16

Sight and Sound: "Divided We Fall"

"Divided We Fall," a pivotal installment of Justice League Unlimited, written by Dwayne McDuffie and directed by Joaquim dos Santos, aired 16 July 2005 on Cartoon Network. In this thrilling, action-packed sequence from the episode ("Less talking, more hitting," as Hawkgirl would put it), a merged Brainiac-Luthor creates a gang of mechanical warriors to bring down the world's greatest superheroes. Creatively, however, the near-omnipotent supervillain chooses to model these deadly androids on the Justice League's dark counterparts from an alternate timeline, the Justice Lords! The scarlet speedster's mirror image bears a familiar yellow and red costume; indeed, this is the closest the series would come to offering the Reverse-Flash a guest appearance. Interestingly, the deadly doppleganger attempts to taunt the Flash with insults attacking his insecurities: "Slacker! Child! Clown!" These barbs reflect Wally West's distinctive role on the team throughout this series as well as the anxieties that haunted him during his early years as the Flash. Fortunately, the monarch of motion is unmoved by such a verbal assault, and he certainly has the moves to obliterate such a foe.

Fast Talk: Dual Identities

Dual Identities: Someone should commission a study on the potential impact of secret identities on the psychology of metahumans. The sooner the better, I'd say. At the very least, I am thankful that Jay Garrick long ago abandoned his attempts to maintain a dual identity. The strain seems to have been too much for him. In this adventure, the fastest man alive strives to crack the case of a jewel theft in which Jay Garrick, his alter ego, is a principal suspect. Pacing up and down in his lab, Jay contemplates the facts at hand: "The key to the whole case is this: the jewels were in Jay's topcoat pocket in the plane. But when he got dressed that morning, in his clothes back from the dry cleaner's, the jewels were not in his pocket." Yes, the Flash is consistently referring to himself in the third person. How can you read these panels without worrying about our hero's state of mind? Just how many superheroes risk a similar Jekyll and Hyde complex by maintaining dual identities?

Issue: All-Flash #28 (April-May 1947)

Upcoming: The Flash: Rebirth #2

DC aims to maintain the momentum and excitement behind Geoff Johns's The Flash: Rebirth by releasing our first teasing glimpse of the epic mini-series' second chapter. Ethan Van Sciver's cover for the issue is celebratory. It represents a playful homage to the classic cover for Showcase #3, the comic book that launched the Silver Age, but there are some ominous elements as well. Our beloved Central City police scientist has a murder mystery on his hands! Who will be revealed as the fallen speedster whose sudden death sets these events in motion? Fans everywhere are speculating. Let us know who you think it might be in the comments section below! As always, visit Newsarama for a further preview of the books shipping from DC Comics in May.

Written by Geoff Johns; Art and covers by Ethan Van Sciver. What’s happened to the Speed Force? One of the world’s most powerful speedsters is dead, and Barry Allen must discover who--or what--is responsible! But the reborn Barry is a man haunted by a dark secret in his past. A secret that drives him to push far beyond his limits. A burden that, if he’s not careful, could send him right back into oblivion! Geoff Johns and Ethan Van Sciver’s reinvention of the Scarlet Speedster picks up the pace--we dare you to keep up! On sale May 6. 2 of 5. 32 pg. FC. $2.99 US.

Flash Facts: Hurricane Winds

"The average rate of surface wind on land is from six to twelve miles an hour; on sea at high altitudes the wind velocity is greater. When the wind moves at a speed of at least 72 miles an hour it is officially designated as a hurricane. Hurricane winds sometimes attain a velocity of 150 mi/hr."

Issue: The Flash #106 (April-May 1959)

Valentine's Day

Classic Covers: The Flash (v.2) #59

Live Action: "Alpha"

“Alpha” (May 11, 1991)

Writer: Gail Morgan Hickman
Story: Gail Morgan Hickman & Denise Skinner
Director: Bruce Bilson
Editor: Greg Wong

Synopsis: After taking notice of her unusual behavior, Barry Allen and Tina McGee befriend Alpha, a mysterious woman who seems to be on the run from a collective of shadowy intelligence operatives. Alpha is in fact an android, an advanced artificial life form devised by the government to serve as the ultimate covert assassin! In defiance of her programming, Alpha has proven incapable of accepting the decision to take a life. With the help of Barry, Tina, and the conman Fosnight, the runaway android pursues a desperate bid to escape the reach of the government and find her freedom.

Commentary: The Flash attempts a shift in style and genre once again by venturing into the territory of outright science fiction with “Alpha,” the penultimate episode of the series. Early dialogue reveals that construction of the title android was accomplished with approximately $30 million in government spending, just a bit more than the cost of one full season of a one-hour network television drama! Even if the viewer is able to generously suspend disbelief through preposterous plot details such as this, however, “Alpha” remains a flawed Frankenstein’s monster of an episode. With a fictional cipher dubbed the National Scientific Intelligence Agency at the fore, the series uses fanatical government officials of a clichéd variety as antagonists, and not for the first time. The brutal Christine Powers, played with great vehemence by actress Laura Robinson, is clearly cut from the same two-dimensional cloth as Quinn, the baddie of “Sight Unseen.” Powers is a stock villain just like her inept henchmen, who, clad in government-issue trench coats, are forever waving their guns about. The story’s central figure, Alpha, would be silly were it not for the strength of the performance offered by guest star Claire Stanfield, who is able to imbue an artificial character with sufficient grace and charm to convince us. Though moral quandaries are inherent to the construction of her character, the episode is utterly uninterested in exploring them. Instead there are poorly planned action sequences featuring Omega, Alpha’s monstrous, hulking counterpart, who is really nothing more than a parody of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s performances as the Terminator. Omega’s demise--witnessed in a bizarre and rather disturbing special effects sequence in which the android’s head explodes after being electrocuted by the Flash--is ridiculous but grotesquely memorable. It’s nice to see regular guest Dick Miller granted more screen time as Fosnight, though the conniving yet lovable conman seems somewhat out of place here. A comedic scene in which Fosnight sneaks Alpha off to a backroom poker game in order to school the naive android in the ways of card cheats might have proven amusing if it weren’t so contrary to the grim, desperate tone established for the episode. “Alpha” really does represent a mixed bag of ideas and, as a result, it’s a definite disappointment.

High-Speed Highlight: With the beautiful android Alpha in his arms, the Flash races at top speed to escape the fifty-mile range of a transmitter programmed to detonate the self-destruct device hidden deep within the electronics of her artificial brain, leaving a trail of burning tracks in his wake.

Quotable: “My name isn’t Alpha Webster, it’s Alpha-One: Artificial Lifelike Prototype Humanoid Android One. I got the name Webster from the dictionary.” --Alpha reveals what’s in a name

Fast Talk: Sound-Activated Waves

Sound-Activated Waves: Lately, I've been thinking about the wonders that were to be found behind the cover of any given Silver Age comic book and I've decided that I want to take a moment simply to clarify something concerning the weekly Fast Talk feature. I kid because I love. The scientific fast talk of the great Silver Age is easy to spot and, admittedly, it is often hilarious. Comic books aren't simply fun or funny, however; comics can be downright exciting. That's the reason that we're drawn to them to begin with. In this dramatic incident from "The Pied Piper of Peril!" by John Broome and Carmine Infantino--representing the first appearance of the title Rogue--Hartley Rathaway is using his near-magical flute to disable his fleet-footed foe. "Playing his incredible instrument at the waters of Central City Lake, the Piper sends a huge sound-activated wave hurtling at the scarlet speedster!" Sure, we could take this opportunity to debate the feasibility of the Pied Piper's acoustic accomplishments, or to playfully interrogate the capabilities of his perplexing technology. Ultimately, that's not what matters in a scene like this, however. Think of the suspense inherent to this plot! Just look at Infantino's stunning imagery! In context, is there any question that the Pied Piper represents a powerful threat? Is there any doubt that our beloved hero is in peril? There is desperation and drama in these panels, emergency as well as great urgency! No matter how hilarious or absurd the pseudoscientific feats or explanations on display may be, never allow me to negate the power of the narrative. Fortunately, I think adventures such as this can generally stand up to a gentle ribbing. These stories are just that good.

Issue: The Flash #106 (April-May 1959)

Quick Quiz: Favorite Writer?

The results are in! Last month's Quick Quiz asked the blog's readers to rank the scribes behind Wally West's run in his own title, which came to an end with The Flash (v.2) #247. Who is your favorite regular writer from The Flash (v.2)? Truly, the third scarlet speedster was blessed, having been continuously guided by some of the best in the business. With such an esteemed line-up of talented creators at the fore, this poll presented a difficult choice indeed.

Mike Baron, the writer who launched The Flash's second volume back in 1987 and successfully established young Wallace West as a top-tier superhero, received 4% of the vote. William Messner-Loebs, well-remembered for developing a colorful cast of supporting characters for the book, earned a small but significant 6% of all votes. Mark Waid, whose work on the title is nothing less than legendary, took top place in the poll with 53% of the vote. Lastly, the appropriately acclaimed Geoff Johns, who will continue to script the adventures of the fastest man alive in the upcoming The Flash: Rebirth, seized a further 43% of the vote. None of the poll's respondents elected to vote in the Other category, a selection that could have conceivably been used to represent Brian Augustyn, Joey Cavalieri, Tom Peyer, or certain other writers who made their own noteworthy contributions to the series. There were forty-three respondents in all.


For any reader familiar with the bold storylines and beloved characters seen throughout The Flash's second volume, the results of this poll will likely be unsurprising. Mark Waid's contributions to the title are cherished by all those comic fans who had the good fortune to pick up one of his issues and his writing undeniable elevated The Flash to must-buy status. Similarly, Geoff Johns is brilliant, and the adventures he imagined for the monarch of motion were both arresting and ambitious. It's no wonder that The Flash: Rebirth is so highly anticipated. Which of the four comic writers did you choose as your favorite? What unforgettable tales or characters from The Flash (v.2) helped to decide your vote? Please, take a moment and let us know what you think using the comment facility below.

It is now February and, with Valentine's Day on the way, love is in the air. Thus, with our next Quick Quiz poll, I thought it time that we turned our attention to that driving sense of heartfelt romance that kept each of the Flashes charging onward. Where would our fleet-footed heroes be without the influence of women such as Joan Garrick, Iris Allen, Fiona Webb, Tina McGee, Linda Park, or Valerie Perez? In each generation, the fastest man alive might aptly be described as the fastest man in love! Of these brilliant and beautiful leading ladies, women who have been romantically involved with the fastest man alive, which stands as your favorite character? Let us know in this month's Quick Quiz, to be found in the right-hand sidebar.

Flash Facts: Empire State Building

"The Empire State Building in New York City has been hit by lightning as often as 48 times in a single year. On one particular occasion the Washington Monument in the nation's capital was struck by five immense lightning bolts."

Issue: The Flash #113 (June-July 1960)

Busy Week

Classic Covers: All-Star Comics #43

Sight and Sound: The Flash

The Flash television series, developed by Danny Bilson and Paul DeMeo, premiered 20 September 1990 on CBS. With this blog's bi-weekly reviews of the series' episodes soon to finish, I thought it was about time that I posted the show's unforgettable titles. The lighting bolt logo screens that opened and closed each episode, accompanied by a sudden crash of thunder, were distinctive and dynamic. The show's driving, thunderous theme song was composed by Danny Elfman, and it was often incorporated into the episodic scores by Shirley Walker. The Flash's opening credits--showcasing stars John Wesley Shipp, Amanda Pays, and Alex Desert--cleverly utilize a staggered, slow motion effect to suggest a sense of speed and movement. Both the logo screens and opening titles served to instantly establish that dramatic yet playful tone inherenet to superhero adventures. Television doesn't get much more exciting than this!

Fast Talk: Solid-Light Beam

Solid-Light Beam: As it turns out, the Rainbow Raider isn't the only Rogue who is fond of miraculously rendering beams of light tangible for use as tools or weapons. One of the Mirror Master's myriad trick mirrors is capable of an astonishing electromagnetic transformation that evokes the Raider's deployment of "microscopic solid light particles." After staging a daring break-in at a local finance company, Sam Scudder is interrupted by a vigilant sentry. Naturally, after glimpsing the distinctive colors of a costume worn by one of Central City's most infamous public enemies, the armed security guard decides to shoot first and ask questions later! In a move worthy of the monarch of motion himself, the Mirror Master swiftly dodges the fired bullet and then retaliates with a surprisingly forceful reflection from a small hand-held mirror. Has the guard been blinded? Hypnotized? The psuedoscience involved here isn't so simple. The guard collapses as if cuffed because he "couldn't withstand the force" of the mirror's "solid-light beam!" If they all appear as everyday mirrors, how does the Mirror Master manage to keep his array of reflective weaponry straight? In any case, I do hope that Scudder has conceived of an appropriate sheath for such a gadget. Surely any mirror capable of rendering light into a solid would be unwieldly and dangerous once unveiled in any lighted room!

Issue: The Flash #146 (August 1964)

The Flash Trivia Quiz (1974)

Flash Facts: The Human Nervous System

"The human nervous system carries messages from one part of the body to another with speeds up to 265 miles per hour... When a person burns his finger with a match, the stimulus of burning is received on the skin of the hand by the sensory nerve. The sensation is registered in the sensory nerve cell; it is then transmitted to the motor nerve cell, which brings about movement of the muscles that control the hand. This causes the hand to release the match."

Issue: The Flash #193 (December 1969)

Classic Covers: The Flash #199

Live Action: "Good Night, Central City"

“Good Night, Central City” (May 4, 1991)

Writer: Jim Trombetta
Director: Mario Azzopardi
Editor: Dennis J. Wooley

Synopsis: At the city morgue, the surprise resurrection of career criminal Harry Milgrim signals trouble for bustling Central City. The small-time crook’s apparent death was but the test run for a powerful sonic device capable of inducing a state of deep sleep in human subjects. With his reluctant cousin Roger Braintree, the timid scientist who developed this technology, Milgrim sets out to put all of Central City to sleep such that he can carry out the criminal capers of his wildest dreams, regardless of the potential side effects to the slumbering public! The fastest man alive is prepared to put a stop to this dangerous plot but, unfortunately, Barry Allen is being slowed down by an internal affairs investigation that suspects he may be involved in its execution!

Commentary: The driving premise behind this episode is simple enough--the science to induce sleep on a citywide scale falls into the hands of an ambitious criminal. This episode’s script is simply outstanding, however, and “Good Night, Central City” is a lot of fun as a result. With no need to rely on spectacle or special effects, the story takes over and offers us the requisite fast-paced action, plenty of light-hearted humor, and some gripping moments of character-driven drama. Matt Landers is delightful as the overenthusiastic Harry Milgrim, a reckless and sometimes manic crook who dreams of escalating to the level of the criminal mastermind, and character actor Bill Mumy has a brief turn as scientist Roger Braintree, the villain’s nervous cousin. The relationship between Milgrim and Braintree is reminiscent of the relationship that existed between Weather Wizard Mark Mardon and his brother Clyde, characters from the pages of The Flash comic book, allowing for an undercurrent of compelling familial conflict. Additionally, guest star Victor Rivers brings an essential quantity of menace to the proceedings as Stanley Morse, a dangerous local gangster who is invited to take part in the full-scale sleep scheme. The episode boasts a surprisingly powerful subplot as well, in which Barry Allen is tormented by an internal affairs investigation which suspects him of corruption, and this is at points beautifully integrated into the dominant storyline. The series’ full supporting cast is on hand--complete with characters representing the city’s colorful police department, underground, and media--which serves, as ever, to stimulate a very real sense of vibrancy or vitality. At the risk of repeating myself, it must also be mentioned that Shirley Walker’s score for the episode is marvelous, its bouncing, jazzy tones undeniably contributing to the overriding sense of adventure. At this point in the season, The Flash had long-since found its footing and was consistently using its stylistic strengths and outstanding supporting cast to their full effect. It all adds up to one of the live action television series’ more enjoyable installments. Following a line-up of somewhat strained episodes featuring reinvented Rogues, “Good Night, Central City” is downright refreshing in its levity and thoroughly entertaining from start to finish.

High-Speed Highlight: By inflicting years of damage and decay in the span of several seconds, the Flash loosens a metal pipe embedded in the wall of a concrete bunker before then spinning it in his hands at spectacular speed to melt through the heavy-duty padlock barring the entrance to the control room for Central City’s civil defense system!

Quotable: “Oh, boy. Three days without sleep. I even tried what you suggested, you know, counting sheep. Last night at dawn I had twenty-three hundred… Well, actually, I counted their legs and divided by four.” --Officer Murphy comically struggles to cope with a bout of severe insomnia

Fast Talk: High-Frequency Vision

High-Frequency Vision: Superman can do some amazing things with his eyes. I have to say, as enviable superpowers go, Heat Vision ranks right up there for me. And the Martian Manhunter seems to make-up new capabilities for his Martian Vision as he goes along. It would seem that way to mere mortals like us, of course, since J'onn J'onzz possesses no less than nine senses! I wouldn't presume to begin interrogating the scientific fast talk of the DC Universe's extraterrestrial superheroes. Lately, however, when I sit down to enjoy a Silver Age story featuring the scarlet speedster, I find it increasingly hard to believe some of the sensory enhancements Barry Allen's super-speed has seemingly endowed. Take this episode, for instance, from the thrillingly titled "10 Years to Live--One Second to Die" by John Broome and Ross Andru. After being taunted by his criminal captors with the fact that there are ten bombs rigged to explode at a moment's notice at high population centers around Central City, the fastest man alive reassuringly informs us that he will be able to track these devices by following the "spurt of high-frequency energy" that triggers them, an invisible bolt "caused by an electric detonator." Broome, or the illustrious Julius Schwartz, adds a slight editorial note explaining that this high-frequency energy is "visible to the Flash because of his built-in super-speed capability!" In other tales, Barry accomplishes similar feats with his inhumanly tuned ears! I have to ask: Just how significantly would the superpower of super-speed extend the range of one's senses?

Issue: The Flash #190 (August 1969)

Upcoming: The Flash: Rebirth #1

The Flash: Rebirth is nearly upon us! Details concerning the first issue in the epic mini-series were released just ahead of DC Comics's April solicitations. Barry Allen's triumphant return will redefine the celebrated mythology surrounding the fastest man alive as well as the roles played by his fellow speedsters. This teaser offers us a glimpse of what lies ahead. Thematically, the narrative's emphasis on the nature of speed is intriguing. Considering his outstanding track record, Geoff Johns undoubtedly has an awe-inspiring story to tell, and Ethan Van Sciver's striking covers for the first issue promise that this adventure will be visually stunning. Visit Newsarama for a complete listing of the comic books that will be on sale from DC this April.

Written by Geoff Johns; Art and covers by Ethan Van Sciver. Through the decades, many heroes have taken the mantle of the Flash, but they all ride the lightning that crackles in the wake of the greatest hero the DC Universe has ever known, the man who sacrificed himself to save the Multiverse: Barry Allen! Following the events of Final Crisis, Barry has beaten death and returned to a fast-paced world that a man out of time wouldn’t recognize. Or is it a world that is only just now catching up? All the running he’s done before was just a warmup for the high-speed race that he and every other Flash must now run, because even though one speedster might have beaten death, another has just turned up dead! From Geoff Johns and Ethan Van Sciver, the visionaries responsible for the blockbuster Green Lantern: Rebirth and The Sinestro Corps War, comes the start of an explosive and jaw-dropping epic that will reintroduce to the modern age the hero who single-handedly birthed the Silver Age of comics! DC history will be made, and the Flash legacy will be redefined! On sale April 1st. 1 of 5. 40 pg. FC. $3.99 US.

Flash Facts: Aurora Borealis

"Formerly believed to be a weather phenomenon, the strange streams of light (aurora borealis) appearing in the polar regions of the sky are now thought to be the effects of solar particles hitting the upper atmosphere of the Earth. The break-up of an aurora in Alaska was photographed during a study by the National Bureau of Standards and the Universities of Alaska."

Issue: The Flash #141 (December 1963)

Classic Covers: Impulse #6

Sight and Sound: "Conquerors of the Future"

"Banded together from remote galaxies are thirteen of the most sinister villains of all time--the Legion of Doom--dedicated to a single objective, the conquest of the universe! Only one group dares to challenge this intergalactic threat: the Superfriends!"

"Conquerors of the Future," an action-packed installment of Hanna-Barbera's unequivocally entertaining Challenge of the Superfriends featuring Jack Angel as the voice of the Flash, aired on the Saturday morning of 18 November 1978 on ABC. In the episode's epic conclusion, a series of convoluted clues left by the Riddler reveal that the Legion of Doom has conquered the world sometime in the far-flung future. Because they're each capable of penetrating the time barrier, Superman, Green Lantern, and a surprisingly airborne Flash band together and charge ten thousand years into the future to challenge their united foes and restore the timeline. The episode features not one but two of the scarlet speedster's Rogues as members of the despicable Legion of Doom: Stanley Ralph Ross voices Gorilla Grodd while Don Messick provides the voice of Captain Cold. Due credit to the underappreciated King of the Seven Seas, however; in animated form, we must admit none of the scarlet speedster's supervillains could ever be as menacing as the terrifying Black Manta! After their plot to overtake future civilizations is foiled, these cowardly would-be conquerors are taught a lesson they won't soon forget: "Once you've started a battle with the Superfriends, you've got to finish it!"

Fast Talk: Solid Light Particles

Solid Light Particles: In this florid follow-up to last week's colorful installment of Fast Talk, a not-so scarlet speedster pursues the Rainbow Raider after having all pigmentation drained from his body. (Those healthy flesh tones you're seeing in Barry's cheeks? That's right, it's make-up applied to spare him public embarrassment. Honestly, I'd have to say that I'm more embarassed to see my favorite superhero running about the city in a bleached costume and cheap cosmetics!) Unfortunately, the fastest man alive is having some trouble getting the drop on the meanspirited Roy G. Bivolo because his chromatic deficiency is inexplicably prompting some disconcerting biological side effects. The distracted black-and-white hero can't help but think, "The color-drain took more out of me than I thought! Already feel like I've run a million miles!" What is it that the Flash is so desperately attempting to scale at super-speed? Why, the multi-colored rainbow bridge the Raider often uses to ride through the skies over Central City, a construct evidentally composed of "microscopic solid light particles." Barry can find some consolation in the fact that the Rainbow Raider has seemingly solved one of science's great mysteries, the nature of light's wave-particle duality!

Issue: The Flash #286 (June 1980)

Funky Winkerbean (2008)

Flash fan Jason "Papa Zero" recently wrote to me to generously submit a couple of newspaper clippings concerning the crimson comet from the Houston Chronicle, including this amusing comic strip, an installment of Tom Batiuk's long-running Funky Winkerbean. The unusual strip represents "a fond funky salute to Carmine Infantino and Murphy Anderson," offering a blatant homage to that unforgettable classic cover that first appeared on the face of The Flash #115. This installment of Funky Winkerbean ran in newspapers on 26 October 2008. It's always fun to find a connection, any sort of fraternal link, between daily newspaper strips like this and their comic book counterparts. Thanks, Jason!

Flash Facts: The Spectroscope

"The Spectroscope--an instrument for detecting the spectra of stars--can also be used to measure the speed of stars, in conjunction with the Doppler Effect. According to this physical law, when a star approaches the Earth, all the lines of the spectrum shift toward the violet end; if a star is speeding away from the Earth, the spectral lines shift toward the red zone."

Issue: The Flash #106 (April-May 1959)

Classic Covers: Animal Man #8

Live Action: "Done With Mirrors"

“Done With Mirrors” (April 27, 1991)

Writer: Howard Chaykin & John Francis Moore
Director: Danny Bilson
Editor: Bill Zabala

Synopsis: When Barry Allen bumps into Stasia Masters, a beautiful classmate from his high school days, he could hardly suspect that he is about to become embroiled in a web of greed and deceit that will pit his superhero alter-ego against a dangerous high-tech criminal. Masters is the former moll of one Sam Scudder, an elusive thief known to law enforcement as the Mirror Master due to his use of advanced holograms in the execution of elaborate crimes. Both Scudder and Masters are in possession of revolutionary technologies stolen from Star Labs and, with Tina McGee’s career and reputation on the line, the Flash must see through myriad layers of deception to stop them both.

Commentary: The one and only Mirror Master is brought to life by guest star David Cassidy in the aptly titled “Done With Mirrors,” an episode that continues The Flash’s late-season trend of reinventing key members of the superhero’s Rogues Gallery. Unfortunately, this is the least engaging episode thus far to feature one of the crimson comet’s famous comic book nemeses. Sam Scudder himself is entertainingly updated for his television debut, his mirror technologies replaced by a bevy of imaginative holograms, and Cassidy is appropriately menacing in the role. When Barry Allen notes that the notorious criminal’s police file is thin, however, he might as well be describing his characterization. Surprisingly, actress Signy Coleman earns more screen time as the seductive but duplicitous Stasia Masters. It is frustrating that the script doesn’t spend more time elaborating on Scudder’s character or exploring his motivations. The episode’s storyline is sorely lacking as well. Though the opening scenes are as breathless as any we’ve seen in the series thus far, by the time of the sudden climax the characters are lost in a tangle of absurd lies and double-crosses. The viewer would be forgiven for thinking the episode’s central MacGuffins--a pair of supposedly priceless, high-tech devices lifted from Star Labs--to be all but meaningless as they contribute little sense of consequence or threat to the proceedings. Additionally, a subplot involving Tina McGee’s efforts to reconnect with her estranged mother, played by actress Carolyn Seymour, proves to be absolutely useless and, worse still, it represents the reiteration of a woeful dramatic cliché. On the plus side, the sets and art direction are inspired, as always, and serve to create a vivid and colorful atmosphere for the action. Shirley Walker’s score is also particular engaging this time around thanks in part to the playful theme written for femme fatale Stasia Masters. There are a lot of fun references to the creators behind the Flash’s comic book adventures slipped into the script as well--take, for instance, Central City's Hotel Infantino on the corner of Fox and Broome. In the end, “Done With Mirrors” is an unsatisfying installment and the audience is left wanting. It’s undeniably disappointing that the Mirror Master does not live up to the standard of villainy previously established for the series by the likes of the Trickster and Captain Cold.

High-Speed Highlight: In a last-ditch attempt to confuse the scarlet speedster and escape justice, Sam Scudder produces eleven identical holographic doubles and loses himself in the crowd! In the blink of an eye, the Flash must race to attack each insubstantial duplicate in turn in order to locate the one true Mirror Master.

Quotable: “Well, Flash! Did you know that three east coast crime families have commissioned studies on you?... How much for you to forget you ever saw me? Take a walk?... Everybody has his price.” --Sam Scudder tries to buy off the fastest man alive

Special Thanks: Thanks, as always, go out to Kelson Vibber for the screen captures featured here. Visit Those Who Ride the Lightning for an overview of The Flash television series, complete with character profiles.

Fast Talk: Black Energy Beams

Black Energy Beams: I will admit, the Rainbow Raider is an easy target for a weekly column intended to affectionately mock the scientific fast talk that is so integral to the sort of stories presented in The Flash. Come to think of it, I don't know how I've resisted featuring poor Roy G. Bivolo and his ridiculous pigmentary feats for so long. At last, then, here is an exercise in chromatics from the supervillain's first appearance in The Flash #286. I can be led to believe that the Rainbow Raider is capable of altering moods with his multi-colored light beams, as when a squad of hapless security guards doused in blue light become "victims of color-wave induced grief!" There's a certain logic to it. You would have to cook up some pretty persuasive technobabble, however, to convince me that the Raider's "black energy-beams" had "drained every glimmer of color right out of [the Flash's] body!" All together now: color does not work that way! At the very least, we are forced to presume that Barry Allen has uncharacteristically chosen entirely the wrong approach in scientifically describing his predicament to us. Surely this black-and-white effect could only be prompted by a change in the physical composition of the surfaces of his body and costume, not by the "draining" of some inherent capacity for color. (This is to say nothing of the physiological drain in energy that the once-scarlet speedster is experiencing as a result of his chromatic deficiency! We'll save that little bit of silliness for next week.) Of course, the real absurdity here is the implication that our hero has "badly underestimated this criminal." This from an astonishingly powerful superhero who has challenged the DC Universe's most menacing monsters! Honestly, there's a reason that the Rainbow Raider was left off of our recent Quick Quiz poll identifying everyone's favorite Rogues, folks.

Issue: The Flash #286 (June 1980)

Quick Quiz: Favorite Rogue?

The latest Quick Quiz poll has run its course, and just in time for DC Comics's Faces of Evil event! The most recent survey turned its attention to the scarlet speedster's colorful collective of arch-villains in posing a perennial question: Who is your favorite member of the Flash's famous Rogues Gallery? Comic fans answered loud and clear.

Captain Cold speedily seized the top spot and finished with an impressive 33% of the vote. It looks as if the frozen felon really is the leader of the Rogues. Mirror Master fell into second place, reflecting 18% of the vote. 15% of the blog's readers recognized the Weather Wizard as their favored foe. Abra Kadabra conjured up no less than 12% of the vote, rounding out the top slots. The remaining Rogues, memorable though they may be, proved somewhat less popular. 5% of respondents selected Hartley Rathaway, the Pied Piper, as a personal favorite. A further 5% looked to Captain Boomerang. 3% of respondents chose the ever-unpredictable Trickster as their villain of choice. Heat Wave, coming in dead last, earned a slim 2% of the vote. At least 7% of all those who voted--disappointed by the exclusion of the Top, Dr. Alchemy, the Golden Glider or the like--elected to cast their ballot in the "Other" category. Sixty readers took part in the poll.


This poll proved interesting. In my estimation, the most surprising result here is the relatively high ranking of Mark Mardon, the wicked Weather Wizard. I am also surprised that the Pied Piper and the Trickster did not earn more votes, particularly considering the former's substantial role as a supporting character in the series. My personal favorite member of the Flash's unrivaled Rogues Gallery has always been Abra Kadabra, that mad magician from the 64th century, especially in light of his characterization during several rather epic battles with Wally West. Which of the supervillains did you vote for? Tells us more about the reasons for your selection in the comments section below.

Following the recent publication of The Flash (v.2) #247, the apparent finish of the third scarlet speedster's run in his own title, our next Quick Quiz turns its attentions to the talented scribes who plotted Wallace's many illustrious adventures. Who is your favorite regular writer from The Flash (v.2)?

Flash Facts: Ice Crystal Aggregation

Research into the formation of snowflakes and ice crystals, being produced by scientific experiments worthy of Captain Cold himself, may lead to improved weather forecasting, reports New Scientist. "[This year,] Paul Connolly from the University of Manchester, UK, will study ice crystal aggregation in the Manchester Ice Cloud Chamber. This giant three-storey stainless steel cylinder can be cooled to temperatures as low as -50 °C to simulate the conditions that produce snow... By running experiments at different temperatures, Connolly hopes to see how the speed of growth of the snowflakes changes. Heavier snowflakes fall faster but are difficult to forecast, so this will allow his collaborators at the UK Met Office to better understand the relationship between snowfall and temperature." Visit New Scientist for more in-depth details on how this new generation of ice cloud chambers operates.

Classic Covers: All-Flash #17

New Year's Day