Fast Talk: Radioactive M-Metal

Radioactive M-Metal: We couldn't wrap-up our month-long tribute to the supervillain Abra Kadabra without resurrecting the old Fast Talk feature, for though the character is built from a concept that cleverly allows for the conflation of science and magic, even Kadabra's Silver Age origin is utterly dependent upon senseless scientific technobabble. Desperate to escape the year 6363 A.D. and its society's obsession with scientific achievement, the mad magician Abra Kadabra decides to seize control of a groundbreaking experiment in time travel. The means to traverse centuries is granted by a jury-rigged two-part apparatus: a "time-vehicle" driven through a corresponding portal by the "propulsive force" granted by "radioactive M-metal," a mysterious element harvested from a fallen meteorite. (What happens when you create an alloy of M-metal and Nth metal? Presumably, it would allow you to fly through time whilst knocking out any ghosts or monsters encountered along the way!) If this explanation sounds a little too convenient, it's because it is. Given the questionable terminology spouted by these so-called scientists--who, we are told in a wonderfully over-descriptive narrative, spend their days working in "a building dedicated to science"--it's a miracle that Kadabra survived his trip through time! This, of course, is just one of countless science fiction stories that utilize the broad, widely-misunderstood label "radiation" as a storytelling shortcut. (Kadabra should dose-up on some neo-magnetic radiation while he's at it!) Is it at all conceivable that any form of radiation could provide what is being described here as a propulsive force, let alone propel one through time? Can you imagine what the Periodic Table must look like in the DC Universe?

Issue: The Flash #128 (May 1962)

Fast Talk: Time-Vibrations

Time-Vibrations: The Flash #203, featuring the unfortunately titled "Flash's Wife is a Two-Timer" by Robert Kanigher and Irv Novick, contains a plethora of pseudoscientific Fast Talk fodder. Rest assured this won't be the last time we visit this issue. The story, which introduced the idea that the scarlet speedster's soul mate was born in the distant year 2945 A.D., is both heart-wrenching and absurd and broaches a number of science-fictional dilemmas of the heart. One of the story's most amusing moments, however, has to be this transitional sequence which, to the uninitiated reader, looks as if it might contain history's most outlandish Dear John letter. Though Iris West Allen is eager to explain her temporal predicament to her loving husband, she is unexpectedly seized by time-vibrations and begins to slip away to the far-flung future. In true dramatic fashion, the plucky reporter has enough time to convey her dilemma to us in incomplete gasps laden with technobabble. "Time-vibrations becoming unstable... being drawn back to the future... Can't reach phone... Must leave Barry... note--!" Iris has put our beloved slowpoke police scientist through a lot over the years but you've got to give her credit; though she is being abducted from the timestream and is, by all appearances, becoming virtually intangible, she still has the presence of mind to contact her husband! Ah, bless. Luckily, these remarkable "time-vibrations" are remarkably slow going, allowing our considerate heroine more than enough time to take up pen and paper and scribble out a brief domestic memo. Imagine Barry Allen's reaction when he returns home to find this note scrawled upon his kitchen wall: "Darling-- Can't stop myself... irresistible force pulling me--1,000 years--future--Help me." Boy, if I had a dime for every time one of my girlfriends tried to get away with that old excuse!

Issue: The Flash #203 (February 1971)

Fast Talk: Impossible Phenomena

Impossible Phenomena: And so, after countless misadventures filled with endless pseudoscientific shenanigans, Barry Allen begins to suspect that something might be just a little off kilter in his corner of the universe. After dealing with yet another disaster that seemingly defies the traditional laws of science, the fastest man alive is forced to face facts. "Stopping the menace that caused it will be much tougher because that menace is... ME!!!" Yes, our stalwart hero, like his faithful readers, has at last become aware of the fact that loopholes in logic seem to follow him around in his super-speed slipstream. "For the past several days, scientific laws have been going haywire all around me! It doesn't matter whether I'm Barry Allen or the Flash--I trigger off impossible phenomena! Can it be because scientists regard me as an 'impossible phenomenon'?" It seems that poor Barry has been taking our regular Fast Talk feature's gibes to heart. I love plot developments like this, in which a character is so rattled as to unabashedly question the very laws that govern the known universe, but what most amuses me about this particular development is the fact that the crimson comet is both self-centered and self-deprecating enough to reach the conclusion that he, personally, is the focal point of this apparent malfunction in the fabric of reality. Of course, when you're a costumed metahuman beloved by millions and burdened with righting all manner of crazy crimes committed using mad science, you're bound to take such things personally!

Issue: The Flash #246 (January 1977)

Fast Talk: Super-Speed Vibrations

Super-Speed Vibrations: You didn't think I'd allow our Super Powers Collection celebration to pass without featuring the Flash action figure's mini-comic in our weekly Fast Talk feature, did you? At thirteen pages, the Kenner mini-comic represents quite a compact superhero adventure and the resolution of that story calls, naturally enough, for some serious pseudoscientific shorthand. In the case of our beloved monarch of motion, nothing provides a little scientific wiggle room quite like some high-speed vibrations. Just look to the first ever Fast Talk feature on the subject of reverse-dimensional frequencies, for instance, or our last installment marveling at Gorilla's City's high-tech vibration recorders. Fortunately for the Justice League of America, the alien android Brainiac hasn't caught up to the tech savvy denizens of Gorilla City when it comes to resonance defenses. Though Brainiac's invisible rays--the powers of which are maddeningly vague, incidentally--have captured and incapacitated Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, and Hawkman, the Flash has a built-in counter. "Sorry, Brainy. I began vibrating at super-speed as soon as your beam hit me! Your beam only teleported me to your ship... it never made me unconscious!" It's just that simple... provided the supervillain isn't willing to ask any follow-up questions. This is one of Barry Allen's favorite tricks so, trust me, this isn't likely to be our last look at the crimson comet's capacity for oscillating out of trouble!

Issue: Super Powers Collection #4 (1984)

Fast Talk: Vibration Recorders

Vibration Recorders: The denizens of Gorilla City are simply amazing. On the list of exotic locations in the DC Universe that I'd most like to visit, Gorilla City ranks right up there, if only so that I could marvel at their architectural and technological achievements. Just consider their communications infrastructure. In a moment of great urgency, with the flick of a toggle switch, the great leader and scientist Solovar is connected with the city's equivalent of directory assistance. Imagining a telecommunications system operated and maintained entirely by diligent apes is outrageous enough--heck, seeing Solovar chatting on the telephone is worth this comic book's cover price--but the telephone operators here have some incredible information at their fingertips. Solovar needs to track down his good friend the Flash in a hurry, and what better way to accomplish that than to lock on to the crimson comet's disctinctive vibrations? In Gorilla City it seems that "the vibration recorders would automatically have recorded his vibration-frequency." The operator is quick with a response: "You were right, scientist Solovar! Our records did register Flash's vibration-aura! The number is gamma frequency 54-8321!" And it's printed right there on a handy three-by-five index card. Now that's what I call information services! Of course, by posting this scene as this week's installment of Fast Talk I have very publicly disclosed the precise frequency of the scarlet speedster's vibratory aura. I must insist that you demonstrate the wisdom and integrity of Solovar himself, boys and girls, and that you use this information only for the purposes of good, not evil.

Issue: The Flash #107 (June-July 1959)

Fast Talk: Redefining Impossible

Redefining Impossible: The weekly Fast Talk feature is dedicated to observing those comic book scenes in which The Flash seems to flaunt a casual disregard for the limitations of science but, as the deranged ramblings of the Rogues often suggest, perhaps we simply need to shift our perspective on things a little. With cold guns, weather wands, and trick mirrors achieving the impossible on a regular basis, perhaps it's our terminology that's in error. The third chapter of Mark Waid and Greg LaRocque's "Born to Run," presented in The Flash (v.2) #64, chronicles Kid Flash's chilling first encounter with the Mirror Master. Upon discovering Sam Scudder's invisible fortress on the outskirts of Central City, Wally gazes in terrified wonder upon the incomprehensible contents of the villain's lair. He reflects that the Mirror Master's technological wizardry "redefined the word impossible." Nothing is simple in the world of the scarlet speedster and absolutely anything is possible! Given the nature of our universe, perhaps we should be prepared to redefine impossibility at a moment's notice. In light of this expanded view of scientific possiblities and accurate phraseology, however, it would be downright misleading to characterize the Mirror Master's arsenal as consisting of "ordinary mirors," particularly considering the fact that Kid Flash is soon swallowed whole by one!

Issue: The Flash (v.2) #64 (Early June 1992)

Fast Talk: Radio-Reception Watch

Radio-Reception Watch: Never underestimate the brilliance of Barry Allen. He may have been endowed with genuine superpowers when he was struck by that errant bolt of lightning but our hero possessed some amazing abilities even before that fateful lab accident. Don't let that drab tie, humdrum lab coat, and his bureaucratic surroundings fool you. This is a man who uses his spare time to develop revolutionary new technologies as a personal hobby! Here we see Barry tinkering with his wristwatch. Is he changing the battery, perhaps? Nothing so mundane! In fact, Barry has invented a "radio-reception watch" that allows him to "keep in touch with the battle of police against crime--all over the world!" Indeed, the first transmissions to be heard are intercepted from Scotland Yard! The practical improbabilities of such a device are obvious, of course. Even Dick Tracy's legendary radio wristwatch surely had a limited range. Given that this radio-reception watch likely represents an early prototype for the gadgetry that the scarlet speedster would later install in his winged earpieces, we can only image what sort of communication signals the fastest man alive is capable of intercepting while in costume! (Think about that the next time you're trying to have a private conversation on your cell phone.) Yes, Barry's a bright spark alright, and it's important to remember that his scientific genius owes nothing to those electrified chemicals. It's amazing what you can accomplish if you put your mind to it. Stay in school, kids!

Issue: Showcase #13 (March-April 1958)

Fast Talk: Effects of Absolute Zero

Effects of Absolute Zero: When we last left our fleet-footed hero he was staring down the barrel of Captain Cold's astonishing cold gun, threatened with a blast of temperatures below that of absolute zero! Impossible, you say? Quite right and, refreshingly, that's something that Len Snart is rather open about. "I know that sounds impossible--but then everything I do is impossible!" What's that, Len? No lectures in pseudoscience or supervillain self-praise today? Just as surprising is the Rogue's admission that he has no idea what the effect of such impossibly low temperatures might be. A shot from the modified cold gun ("ZWEEE!") settles his--and our--curiosity. In an icy and anticlimactic instant, the scarlet speedster is... broken, separated into seven solid pieces. Yes, with all of his efforts to overcome the very laws of thermodynamics, Cold has simply performed the equivalent of a high school science experiment; he might as well have dipped his arch-nemesis in dry ice and hit him with a hammer. In this instance, the villain's scientific accomplishments seem to be both astonishing and underwhelming simultaneously. At the very least, the frigid felon is overselling the end result: "What an odd effect--but terrific! Of course, Flash would say awful! Just goes to show what stupendous forces there are below absolute zero!" I'm not sure what else to say. With his uncharacteristic candor, it looks as if Captain Cold himself has exposed this week's bit of impossible scientific fast talk!

Issue: The Flash #193 (December 1969)

Fast Talk: Below Absolute Zero

Below Absolute Zero: Aspiring master criminals, attend carefully. What elevates a mere costumed crook into the enviably ranks of true supervillainy? Not only must you possess terrifying technology or some astonishing ability, you must be willing to wield your powers with arrogance and flare! No one knows this better than the flashy members of the Flash's own Rogues Gallery. Take Captain Cold. He's got the requisite gadgetry and the scientific know-how, as demonstrated during this particular confrontation with the crimson comet. His trademark cold gun is a truly impressive bit of kit, capable of inducing absolute zero. As any physics professor would no doubt explain at this juncture, it's important to note that absolute zero is unattainable through either natural or artificial means, a state that exists nowhere in nature. It's not enough that Len Snart can casually defy the laws of thermodynamics, however. Oh, no. To justify his standing as a true Rogue he must be brash enough--or bonkers enough--to best even that! As the scarlet speedster bears down on him through an ice-cold aura, the frigid felon boasts, "There's time enough to tell you I prepared this special attachment to my cold-gun with you in mind, Flash! It lowers the blast temperature of my gun to below absolute zero!" That's right, below absolute zero. It's one thing to be a gifted gadgeteer who understands the ins and outs of quantum physics, but that's what I call showing off. As a scientist himself, Barry Allen no doubt fully appreciates this impressive predicament. What mind-boggling effects might the unimaginable temperatures beyond absolute zero induce? I think I'll save that jaw-dropping scientific surprise for next week. This showcase of theoretical tomfoolery is simply too sizable for one Fast Talk feature.

Issue: The Flash #193 (December 1969)

Fast Talk: Mental Mirrors

Mental Mirrors: Utterly unappreciative of the effort undertaken by his public defender, Attorney Paul Barrett, supervillain Sam Scudder uses his time at trial to initiate a manipulative scheme that will allow him to escape from prison... again. Scudder later gloats, "No one suspects that at my trial I seized control of my lawyer's mind by tiny mirrors secreted on my person." The Mirror Master's villainous rants reveal that his latest trick with mirrors isn't simply an act of hypnotic suggestion, however. "From now on Barrett is in my power! Wherever he is, he will follow my mental commands! Even now I don't have to speak to tell him what I want!" Not only are these tiny reflectors impractically small, they're also clearly telepathic! Combine this pseudoscientific knowledge with last week's lesson in the coercive powers of super-speed radiation and we have to ask ourselves, are any of the crimson comet's foes incapable of jury-rigging some psychic powers at a moment's notice? One disappointing fact is abundantly clear: Central City's Rogues have absolutely no respect for the dedicated professionals who maintain this nation's great legal system. Still, it's all in a day's work for poor Paul Barrett, public defender to high-profile costumed supervillains!

Issue: The Flash #130 (August 1962)

Fast Talk: Super Speed Limit

Super Speed Limit: Forget about the complexities of Constitutional Law or Civil Procedure. True jurisdictive dilemmas result when mad science and the legal system collide! "The Mightiest Punch of All Time," a Silver Age classic by John Broome and Carmine Infantino, features one of The Flash's most absurd and, I would say, delightful plot twists. Professor Zoom has once again used his Cosmic Treadmill to travel to the present-day, and he's brought along some truly threatening technology. Using a beam of intense super-speed radiation that inexplicably possesses hypnotic properties, the Reverse Flash is capable of controlling the minds of unsuspecting citizens! How does the futuristic felon plan to make creative use of this incredible power in order to devastate his mortal enemy? By influencing municipal ordinances, of course! Yes, Zoom toys with the thoughts of the Central City Municipal Council and, as a result, from that day forward "it is strictly forbidden to travel at super-speed within the limits of Central City!" Naturally, the law-abiding scarlet speedster is forced to comply with the newly invoked super speed limit and spends the rest of this airy adventure walking! I'll have to consult a particularly bright and particularly open-minded law student on the legality of the council's decision. Nevertheless, in the wake of the unforgettable murder and atrocities that the deranged Reverse Flash would later commit, can you imagine a day and age when Eobard Thawne's evil was restricted to mischievous attempts at taunting the fastest man alive by tampering with local politics? Something tells me that the supervillain's future plans for Barry Allen will be far more malicious.

Issue: The Flash #153 (June 1965)

Fast Talk: Plant Intelligence

Plant Intelligence: After last week's jibes concerning thinking computers, this outlandish lesson in hellish horticulture seemed a natural follow-up. As an entry in the regular Fast Talk feature, this Golden Age splash page requires little annotation. "The Plant That Challenged the World," by Gardner Fox and E. E. Hibbard, opens by playing a bit fast and loose with its scientific associations, informing readers that "immortal scientists such as Charles Darwin have long maintained that plants possess thinking brains with which they solve problems as real to them as our problems are to us. The Venus Flytrap... The Sarracenia... The Darlingtonia..." At the very least, the narrative's phraseology is misleading, and the outrageously escalating argument is deceptively constructed, but you can't deny the intrigue inherent to the premise! "It was the sternest test of his crime-clouting career when the Flash--the fastest man alive--attempted to stunt the growth of 'The Plant That Challenged the World!'" Pity the poor soul who regarded any issue of Comic Cavalcade as a scientific textbook. There must have been more than a few misguided youngsters who grew up eager to pursue a career in the frenzied and danger-filled field of botany, only to meet crushing disappointment in some humdrum hothouse.

Issue: Comic Cavalcade #5 (Winter 1943)

Fast Talk: Computer Control

Computer Control: In addition to showcasing young Wally West's offensive lack of manners, this little expository exchange from "The Kilg%re," a techno-thriller by Mike Baron and Jackson Guice, unveils a state-of-the-art computer system with some obvious and rather alarming design flaws. Professor Schmitz explains that S.T.A.R. Labs's Utah facility "is run by computer," and this computer "can think for itself, to a certain extent... With our robots and access to virtually every other computer in the western hemisphere, we're one of the foremost physics labs in the world!" Sentient computers? Robots? Total technical domination?! Can't you just hear the menacing underscore music swell beneath such boastful technobabble? Be thankful the internet wasn't designed by the software engineers of S.T.A.R. Labs. Naturally, by the end of this particular issue the electronics of the entire western hemisphere have been dominated by a malevolent artificial intelligence. Oh, well. Back to the drawing board!

Issue: The Flash (v.2) #3 (August 1987)

Fast Talk: Universal Annihilation

Universal Annihilation: Ahh, true love knows no bounds. We all know that Barry Allen would travel a mere 3,000 miles--the distance from Central City to, say, Anchorage--in the span of a heartbeat just to be with his beloved Iris. "The Thousand-Year Separation!" by Cary Bates and Irv Novick shows us that the romantic scarlet speedster would travel across even 3,000 years to rescue his soul mate! What I love about these particular adventure-ending panels, however, are the staggering implications thrown about concerning the Flash's arch-nemesis. After foiling Professor Zoom's latest scheme, a reprehensible plot intended to initiate unimaginable destruction, the Flash observes that the Reverse-Flash has undoubtedly made his getaway. "If the universe were to be annihilated, he must have prepared an escape for himself!" Only in a four-color comic book world could one hope to design and implement a strategy for escaping the destruction of the universe itself! Let this stand as further testament to the staggering strength and imposing ingenuity of those foes who oppose the fastest man alive! Professor Zoom's resurrection, during or after the events of The Flash: Rebirth, would seem a certainty. "We can count on it!" Despite such overwhelming scientific assertions, however, the crimson comet convinces us that there's no reason to fear. Even though the brilliant and evil Eobard Thawne may be at large, whilst the lovely Iris is in Barry's arms we're provided with "the best of all endings... a happy one!"

Issue: The Flash #237 (November 1975)

Fast Talk: Knowledge Absorption

Knowledge Absorption: If a panel like this doesn't prompt you to perform a sudden double take, I don't know what will. One of the more impressive byproducts of the Flash's astonishing super-speed powers is his ability to absorb knowledge at a rate that matches the incredible, accelerated speed of his movements. This allows the monarch of motion to become something of a superhuman polymath or Renaissance Man. When faced with a medical crisis worthy of Michael Crichton or Robin Cook in "24 Hours of Immortality," by Robert Kanigher and Irv Novick, the fastest man alive decides that the matter is simply too dire to leave to the professionals. The scarlet speedster must become a surgeon himself, and he accomplishes this by "absorb[ing] the surgeon's exhausting briefing with lightning rapidity" before taking up a scalpel. (It was kind of Barry to take a nanosecond to don the appropriate scrubs, too. Not only is his crimson costume likely filthy from all that crimefighting, but the more sterile attire is sure to instill some confidence in his bewildered patient as well!) Not surprisingly, this knack for accelerated learning has been used sparingly in stories featuring the Flash, and the writers have imposed some temporal limitations on his encyclopedic memory as well. It's a wonder that scientists like Dr. Tina McGee aren't more interested in studying the Flash's brain rather than his body!

Issue: The Flash #206 (May 1971)

Fast Talk: Escape Velocity

Escape Velocity: Superman and the Flash have shared many a race, but none of those competitions has taken the form of a safe and simple lap or two around the track. Those races have always been fraught with peril and outrageous obstacles. In this episode from The Flash #175--featuring "The Race to the End of the Universe" by E. Nelson Bridwell and Ross Andru--the monarch of motion has been caught in a sticky, viscous sort of meteor laid out as a trap. He is saved only when the Metropolis marvel, his esteemed competitor, graciously hurls that meteoric anomaly into the atmosphere of a nearby Earth-like planet. Considering the speeds that the Flash achieves on land, it's no surprise that he's able to survive the extreme heat of atmospheric re-entry: "my aura protects me from friction-induced heat!" How will our quick-thinking hero manage to escape the planet's gravitational pull, however? "By whirling, I can set up a tornado of air which'll lift me back into space!" Let us cast our minds back to this week's installment of Flash Facts. Escape velocity, "the minimum speed required for a body to overcome the effects of Earth's gravity," is 25,000 mph. Let us also take into account the fact that the Flash would likely be close to 75 miles above the surface of this planet, the point at which the effects of atmospheric re-entry would begin to be felt. Is it at all conceivable that the crimson comet's now-famous tornado maneuver, dependent upon manipulating the air-currents of an ever-thinning atmospheric envelope, would allow him to acheive escape velocity? Or should he be signalling the man of steel for a bit of flight-enabled assistance? Oh, and the less said about Super-Ventriloquism, the better!

Issue: The Flash #175 (December 1967)

Fast Talk: Inspirational Speed

Inspirational Speed: On the eve of Barry Allen's triumphant return, there's been much debate regarding how the second scarlet speedster's powers compare with those of his predecessor or successors. Was Jay Garrick as fast as Barry Allen? Regardless of the speed science involved, the first Flash's wife isn't willing to underestimate the power of a positive example! In a telephone interview with Dr. Tina McGee, Joan Garrick explains that her husband didn't share the voracious appetite and high-speed metabolism of Wally West, but he couldn't quite match the speeds demonstrated by his successors either. Nevertheless, she observes that the inspiration imbued by Barry Allen was a superpower in and of itself! "He was never as fast as Barry, although he always used to say that he felt faster whenever Barry Allen was around. 'That boy makes me feel twenty again,' he used to say." Clearly, whatever Dr. McGee might have to say on the subject of speedster biology, there's an element of speedster psychology involved as well!

Issue: The Flash (v.2) #24 (March 1989)

Fast Talk: Liquid Oxygen

Liquid Oxygen: It is often remarked by those who underestimate the fastest man alive that he is a superhero that simply "runs fast." Using a similarly limited logic, we could surmise that the wicked Captain Cold is a substandard supervillain because he simply "freezes things." The brilliance behind these characters lies in the inspired range of scientific principles their basic superpowers were associated with via the storytelling--which is, of course, to say nothing of characterization. Take this example. After interrupting a robbery in progress, the Flash finds himself immersed in a rather exceptional deathtrap. Captain Cold has fired his freeze-gun and "instantly the very air turns liquid about the Flash as sub-zero temperatures liquefy the oxygen he needs to stay alive." Nevermind the fact that a cursory look at the process of manufacturing liquid oxygen indicates that fractional distillation would be required to separate out the substantial nitrogen component of the air that Barry Allen is breathing. As he's swimming in a room flooded with liquid oxygen, both highly volatile and significantly cryogenic, the monarch of motion is lucky that he's lived long enough to even reflect on the possibility of drowning! Of course, miraculous survival can always be explained away with a quip: "He won't get away with this! For every cold trick--I have a hot one!"

Issue: The Flash #150 (February 1965)

Fast Talk: Flash Metabolism

Flash Metabolism: Here's a fun fact! Thanks to an accelerated metabolism, the Flash's unique body is capable of processing quantities of drugs such as phencyclidine that would prove lethal to the average human--though, unfortunately, not without being affected by their dangerous and intoxicating effects. After assaulting his fellow superheroes and embarking on an embarrassing super-speed rampage that nearly destroys their shared satellite headquarters, Barry Allen is subjected to what amounts to a Justice League of America drug screening. The results aren't promising. With all of the accuracy and attention to detail of a trained neurobiologist, the ever-impressive Superman explains that his x-ray vision has discovered microscopic "traces of P.C.P. and other 'junk' drugs clogging the tissues!" Using his equally impressive power ring, Green Lantern observes that his friend has absorbed a dose of angel dust "big enough to kill an elephant!!! Only his unique Flash metabolism pulled him thru!" Admittedly, this week's subject for Fast Talk was chosen primarily for its entertaining panel illustration, but it draws our attention to a scientific loophole used frequently in adventures featuring the fastest man alive. Is there anything--high-calorie consumable, potent potable, neurotoxic chemical--that the scarlet speedster's metabolism can't handle? All this in an issue approved by the Comics Code Authority, too! I hasten to add that, as the man of steel points out, "Obviously, he didn't do this to himself!" Don't do drugs. Stay in school.

Issue: The Flash #277 (September 1979)

Fast Talk: Speedster Slipstream

Speedster Slipstream: The Flash has become so accustomed to throwing around scientific fast talk that it's beginning to corrupt his use of cliches! As he dodges deadly chunks of concrete falling from a collapsing city block, the fastest man alive rescues a helpless tyke just in time for a narrow escape. Just how narrow is this escape? "Whew! Made it! But if my hide were one molecule thicker--" One molecule?! I'd expect that sort of infinitesimal exaggeration from the likes of the Atom, but honestly, Barry. The fastest man alive follows this molecular hyperbole with one of his regular super-speed stunts. Though his hands are full protecting the rescued child, the fleet-footed hero is able to deliver a bevy of nearby citizens to safety simply using the fast-moving currents that whip about in his wake. "Guess they'll have to settle for traveling via air mail!" It's the selectivity that the Flash is capable of enforcing over the air currents in his super-speed backwash that has always puzzled me. Though they'll likely end up airsick, those citizens are lucky there aren't any bricks or steel beams being snatched up by the speedster's slipstream!

Issue: The Flash #217 (August-September 1972)